What would you like to do?

Saturday, March 25, 2006

There are reasons why flights don't land at the Bangalore HAL airport. One reason could be that a Deccan Airways ATR is sitting smack in the middle of the runway. And I have to write IIM-C's Aptitude Test for Mathematics on 12th March at IIM-B.
Fortunately, I was already in Bangalore!

24 hours ago, Trivandrum
Mom: "I don't know why we have to go to Bangalore two days early."
Me: "Uhuh. Humour me, please, Mom! This is important. It could even affect my performance, you know!"
Mom: "Bags me window seat."
Me: (whining) "That's unfair! You took it last time we came and that was because of turbulence and all, you made that an excuse! NOOOO, I want the window seat! Mommmyy!"
Mom: (backing off) "Sheesh, have it your way, kid!"

Present, somewhere in Bangalore's famous malls
Mom: "Flights are being delayed or cancelled!"
Me: "Bahahaha. Now buy me a Sony flat-screen television."
Mom: "Would you settle for a cold coffee?"

12th March, 10:30 am, IIM-Bangalore
"Where's PGP Exam Hall-1? Where's PGP Exam Hall-1? Where's PGP Exam Hall-1? ", Muttering to myself, I walked along the long corridors of IIM-Bangalore.

Along the way, we accumulated more people I knew (From previous PIs, PagalGuy or just my random-grin-a-little-we're-both-in-this-together style.), till quite a few of us were gathered around the hall wondering what kind of Maths we were going to be asked.

We didn't have long to wait. At 10:45, we were ushered in to sit in some funny looking wooden chairs that moved when you leaned backwards. With their usual rather blunt way of putting forward things, I was still George Shruti Susan, with a number of 12, and found myself right in front, grinning nervously at the Professor who was pacing to and fro. After sometime, I caught the eye of the only lady professor there and both of us grinned the "Aren't we special women in this room, so how does it feel to be on your side?" conspiratorial smile. Hmm, that really felt good!

The test was good, went well enough. No comments! I then wended my way back to the K block and my room to finish my new favourite book: The Great Indian Novel. Like VV (Ved Vyas) says....

This is my story of the India I know, with its biases, selections, omissions, distortions, all mine. But you cannot derive your cosmogony from a single birth, Ganapathi. Every Indian must forever carry with him, in his head and heart, his own history of India.

We met up in Lakshmi's room and checked out some pictures they took for different occasions. Who says IIM students have no fun? I agree with them too ;). Of course, I am kidding!

We also walked around the campus taking some really pretty pictures. Here are some of my favourites!

Reminded me of The Road Goes On, in The Hobbit (and later in The Lord of the Rings.) Or even Enya's song and in a subtle way, Stopping By the Woods on a Snowy Evening. Of course, there was no snow.

I haven't seen the StoneHenge, but I can't help thinking that the architect must have been inspired by the druids of old.

I remember getting a comment on the blog a long time ago, that effectively said "So many pictures of the world around you. SHAME on you. Where are you in them?" Well, that's me. This is the outside of a lecture hall, I am not sure which one, P block, I think.My favourite picture, just because of the shadows and the sunlight. It looked gorgeous. This is actually the PGP Exam Hall-1. I found out the shortcuts AFTER I had my ATM.

At the end of all this, I also updated my Career Goals (Huh! WHAT goals?) in the form. I love the IIM-C form. Unlike Indore, they had only 4 pages and 2 questions and unlike Lucknow, they had enough space for the two questions they asked, instead of 2 very cramped lines. Also, unlike Bangalore, I didn't have to go and beg every teacher I knew for recommendation letters. Yeah, as far as the forms go, Calcutta and Kozhikode were the best. At least, they didn't want to know if I had any history of mental illness. You see, that's a very subjective question!

13th March, 5 am
I woke up on my own. That's a change from the usual yelling I need before I can wake up. But, seriously, the B campus can get extremely cold. Take my advice, barefoot is not really an option!
By seven, I was seriously fidgeting. If you know the kind of person I am, that's majorly hyperactive. There was a lot of whistling going on, ("SHRUTI, girls don't whistle!", "But, mom, the block is almost empty!"), a lot of pacing and even a lot of staring into the vast distance interpersed with more fidgeting. So... we had breakfast.

By 8:30, I was done, so I pulled out my phi-yulls, mentally laughing at the guy I had met in the IIM-I interview who'd showed up for the PI with a school-bag FULL of certificates. At least mine were docketed and arranged properly. By the way, that guy is worth one whole blog post, I wish I had more time to talk to him. I can still remember the murderous looks being thrown his way, to which he was completely oblivious.

I made my way into the K-block and asked them cheerfully "Hey, so IIM-C, right?"
One wannabe muttered "This is MDI, IIM-C is in M block." No doubt, he must have mentally haved added to himself, "Clueless female. At least get your bearings right. Haha. Let's see the IIM-C folks toast you."
Hmm, maybe I have an overactive imagination! ;) I am often accused of it alright.

Finally, I found the block (ditto as IIM-L) and found my panel number (2). I went upstairs and flashed my best "Hey-so-whaddya-say" grin and got some seriously tired responses.
On an aside, I am amazed at the kind of welcomes I get usually as Shrutz. Yours truly being the rather smile-at-strangers-talk-them-to-death sort, when bored, usually starts talking to the other guinea pigs within 10 minutes of the long interminable wait. Of course, it also helps to be one of very few girls, so people don't mind talking!
"Hey, I am -----"
"Nice to meet you. I am Shruti!"
The reply ranges from "Oh, you are Shrutz from PagalGuy?" to "DAMN, Shrutz, you better shut your mouth during the GD! We'll be keeping a close watch on you."
Okay, that's just dratted unfair. Do you people KNOW how hard it is for me to open my mouth in any GD? I feel like I have been struck dumb most of the time! "Damn, there go my points. Bye bye. Now, I got to think of some OTHER points!"
Meanwhile, people were discussing about West Bengal and different states. Suddenly,
"So, Arundhati Roy is a famous Bengali, right?"
The air suddenly grew chilly. I turned to the offending *shudder* GIRL.
"Oh come ON. She's a MALLU! What do you MEAN by Bengali?"
She cowered under my err.. steely gaze. "Eh, the surname Roy?"
"Excuse me. She's a Mallu christian, from Kottayam. Her mother runs a school there." I was very near pulling my hair and yelling "MALLU PRIDE!"
It's another fact that I spent most of my time laughing at The God of Small Things. Sample: Young Man. On a Caravan. Boom Boom. I mean WTH? Are we brain dead here? For Pete's sake.Okay, maybe she was slightly better than Midnight's Children, but STILL! I don't think I learn from past mistakes, though. I have The English Patient and The Everest Hotel right now, and have to finish them. I am not entirely sure what's up with Booker Prize Winners, India and entirely obscure stories. Or maybe, I am not sufficiently literary enough to appreciate nursery rhymes or subjective mythology in a novel. Maybe, I ought to stick to the known devils rather than the unknown angels. Maybe, I ought to keep my opinions to myself....
Suddenly, another question, "So, who's the CM of Kerala? Some Oommen Chandy?"
The pronounciation was atrocious and I burst out laughing. The rest of the time was spent talking about UTs and states and politics in general.

Out came a very tall, slightly pink and hairless man,the Alumnus. He started calling us in. George (etc) came last in. Oh just great. First day, first GD, last PI, my worst nightmare. The ten of us were shepherded into the room and seated around (again a nightmare) a rectangular table. And I was at one end. Just GREAT!

GD topic: Man is an island.
It was announced by a short professor with a very good accent. Looked like a Bong to me (Later investigations proved that I was very stupid to assume things like that ;)) The third professor was seated in one corner with a notepad he was scribbling in.
By and far, the most chaotic GD I have been in. I couldn't put a word in edgewise till 3 minutes into the whole process, I raised my voice a bit and went ahead, over the points of three others. Suddenly there was pin drop silence, which was weird. I stated my point and again sat back while the mayhem continued.
Then again, "Islands are sometimes built from destruction, like volcanoes and earthquakes." I was again talking to 9 very silent boys, which I felt was rather amusing. I began to have fun, interrupting the heated debates at one or two points, saying anything that came into my head and then letting the guys take over the point and thrash it out. The points weren't too bad, but overall not a very satisfying GD.
We were then asked to talk for a minute, extempore. I am very good as BSing on the spot. :) So, that was okay!
Mood after GD: What the HECK?

Once, we got out, we were told Panel #3 had "No man is an island", which is a line from a poem. Google tells me the poem is "Meditations XVII", by John Donne.

....No man is an island, entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main...
Any man's death diminishes me,
Because I am involved with mankind,
And therefore, never send to know,
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

Oh well, two famous lines in a single poem, and I didn't know the poem or the poet. Whither goest thou, Shrutz? :(

Around me, Panel#2 started going from 45 minute interviews to 10 minutes, as time passed, till I was the only person left (and 2 more from Panel#3) At around 1 pm, when I am sure their tummies were rumbling ;), I was called in. Panelist #1 came out and held the door open (second time I was given the royal treatment!) and I went in and wished everyone...
"Good morning!"
"Good afternoon, Shruti." said Panelist#2.
I nearly winced, but flashed a big smile at him (he was the alumnus). I sat down and look around with what I hoped was a very interested look on my face. P1 decided he had enough of my smile already! :D
"So, Shruti. Did your gender give you an advantage for the GD?"
Since I had been enjoying the experience thus far, I decided to be honest. "I actually found that it did, sir."
"And why is that?"
"Well, sir, initially, I had a hard time being heard over everyone's voices because all the guys were quite loud. But the moment I was heard, they gave me their entire attention."
He smiled a delibrate smile, "So, Did they always listen to you?"
"In fact, yes sir."
"So, you're telling me they didn't always listen to each other?"
Oh crap. The honesty thing isn't exactly working out, is it? I gave him a huge smile and told him, "Frankly, no sir."
"So, did YOU listen to them?"
An emphatic "Yessir!"
"So, when you were asked to talk for one minute after the GD, why didn't you summarise?"
I schooled my features to look slightly puzzled, "Well, sir, you didn't ask me to?"
"Yeah, we didn't ask for a summary."
I continued, "But, I did use other people's points in my speech!"
He decided to change tacks, "What is the one quality most successful managers have?"
I was frankly blindsided by the sudden change in subject and groped around going all the way from organisational abilities to leadership skills till I came to one skill I could say I had in some measure, "Well, sir, they ought to be able to gauge an argument or a problem from many viewpoints, understand the strengths and weaknesses." I went on till finally I finished weakly, "Well, what I mean is, he should have good analytical abilities?"
He looked at me, a little bemused. "Does it work everywhere?If you are asked to promote a product, how will that help?"
"Sir, is this advertising, brand promotion?"
"Whatever you would like."
"Well, sir, if the brand you need to promote is a recognised one, you need to understand what the public perception of that brand is, what they think is the strength and the weakness, if it's a new brand you need to build on it. Hide the flaws."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Sir, may I cite an example?"
"Yes."
I racked my brains and came upon the Indian Textile Industry, God alone knows why! "Sir, the Indian textile was perceived to make inferior quality cotton cloth, this wasn't true, but the perception persisted. This is the difference between the inherent weakness in a product as opposed to the actual weakness. Through proper promotion, that misconception has been cleared up." Yes, quite a load of BS...
"Okay. If the product were a soap?..."
"Well, sir, some competitors exploit properties in products, which are inherent, but can be perceived as weaknesses. They'd say 'That soap causes drying of your skin, ours doesn't'. That would be a way, yes?"
He looked at me as if to say "Is that enough BSing for one day, young lady?"
Panelist3 consulted his notepad and enunciated in a thick Bong accent, "You gave some points in the GD (WHAT?), so how do you say a manager shouldn't be an island?"
"Sir, I recognised that the line was from a poem, I don't know which poem or who the poet is, which said "No man is an island entire unto itself." The moment a manager makes decisions in isolation, without consulting others or proper knowledge, his decisions might prove to be wrong."
He flipped through my form, "What is APPLIED about your branch? (Applied Electronics & Instrumentation)"
("Sir, that's an old question") "Sir, we have two branches in my department, one is Telecommunication, our Instrumentation degree needed to be differentiated, so it's just another name for two branches."
"Where do you APPLY electronics?"
("Why are you stuck on the name?") "Well, in our project, we're applying what we learnt into the field of VLSI design."
Panelist#2 interjected, "VLSI goes over my head, can you explain in layman's terms."
I slowed down and looked at him with an incredulous look on my face, "Sir, I will try. We're trying to design...."
"So, what are you applying in it?"
"The VLSI design and circuit design techniques we learnt in 3rd year and simulation tools we learnt in second year!"
Again a change of subject, "What is FM?"
"Frequency modulation."
"What is AM?"
"Amplitude modulation."
"What is the difference?"
"Sir, modulation of the signal over the modulatin wave."
"What is the difference between radios of old and now?"
"Sir, nowadays, we use solid-state devices, diodes, transistors in the radios, in older days they used pentodes, tetrodes, triodes..."
Panelist#2 helped me out "Tubes"
"Yessir, vaccum tubes!"
Panelist#3 persisted "You're from Kerala, right? Why don't I get FM from Trivandrum here?"
("Sir, you aren't missing anything GREAT.") "Sir, the frequency of FM is such that there is very low range for FM."
Panelist#2 was curious "Why's there low range?"
I floundered completely. This was taught in ONE paper in third semester and I had forgotten. "Uhm, the SNR ratio becomes too low." ("Damn, I am NOT a communications engineer!") "The antenna height is not conducive to long distance transmission."
"Why is it that I can get Delhi here, but not Trivandrum?"
I looked confused, "Oh, you mean Aakashvaani, that's AM, Trivandrum is on FM. AM has greater range."
"Why?"
"Sir, the frequency!"
"Is it directly proportional?"
I was almost speechless, "Sir, I don't think so."
"No, there's something about reflection"
("Oh! CRAP") I said wearily, "FM is a ground wave, AM is a sky wave."
"FINALLY"
I was startled by his enthusiastic response! ("Uhm, it was just a right answer, but thanks!")
Panelist#2 still didn't have enough of me displaying my technical knowledge. "Last question, what is the difference between fixed line and mobile communication?"
("Again, may I tell you I am NOT a freaking communications engineer, regardless..") "Uhm, sir the mode of propagation, fixed telephone lines versus antennas."
"Why is it called cellular communication?"
("Aise bolna chahiye tha nah!") And I proceeded to explain about antennas governing cells and frequency handing over. He seemed particularly happy that I knew it. Frankly, it was less of what I had learnt in college (because we hadn't) and more of reading about Smart Antennas that helped me there. You never know where reading will help you.
Panelist#1 finally spoke up, "What is the limit of transistor sizing?"
I literally beamed at him, "Sir, transistor sizes keep going down, 200 nm is the standard size now. We're doing our project in 130, 90 and 32 nm. Sizes can't go a lot below that because of VLSI fabrication and design techniques which limit the size!"
"So, What are the alternatives to transistors?"
"Sir, scientists are looking at carbon nano-tubes, single atom transistors where the spin of the electrons govern the states and some kind of atomic latch, whose name I am not sure of. I heard of it during a seminar" ("TOO much information, Shrutz! Shut up NOW") I closed my mouth.
"What are they made of?"
"I am not too sure, sir" I said slowly.
"Okay, you have talked about exploiting the weaknesses of products. You can exploit the weaknesses of customers as well. How would you, as a manager, exploit the weaknesses of customers in trying to sell Kerala as a tourist destination?"
"Sir, Indians as a whole are thrifty. They like value for money, cheap things. Kerala offers everything: beaches, hill stations, backwater etc with immense value for money. Added to which, we have concepts like Ayurveda and medical tourism catching on. We can sell Kerala like that."
"There is a school of thought that says people should focus on tourists who pay more, foreigners. What do you say?" "Foreign arrivals in India are low as such,not just to Kerala. Added to which, Indian businessmen don't travel much to Kerala for business reasons. This leaves domestic tourists who are mainly families to whom the price matters. That's where the price factor comes in."
"So, you are suggesting best of two worlds?"
"Yes sir, I would say a two-pronged approach" ("Hah!")
Panelist#3 had his say again, "You are from Kerala. Which district are your parents from in Kerala?"
("Why can't he believe it when I say I AM from Kerala?") "Sir, They're from Pathanamthitta, but we've been in Trivandrum mostly."
They thanked me, I smiled again and left.

This PI went well, smiles all around and lasted around 15 minutes. Wasn't too long, but was one of my better interviews, along with Indore.

The last PI up, is Bangalore, on 4th April

Till then, adios!

Copy-write Shrutz :: 5:52 PM :: 10 Sneaky Remarks:

What would you like to do?

-------------------------------------

Friday, March 17, 2006

We're Taking This In-Dore

Dear reader, I am about to commit an inequity most heinous,
To your sanity it might prove to be quite ruinous,
Yet, for the love of my blog, sweet reader, you must dare.
My IIM-Indore GD/PI experience will be verse for the wear.

The fourth of March, the day dawned dark and bleak
With the clouds, ol' Sun played hide and seek.
At half past five, my mom decided that it was enough,
"Off the bed, my darling daughter, it's time for tough love."

I woke up, blinking the dusty cobwebs of sleep from my eyes,
Hoping that, today, I wouldn't be cut down to a smaller size.
To beat Bangalore traffic (Always a pain in the sensitive part!)
We set off for IIM-B at seven, (Don't ask about my heart!)

As a poet, I am allowed to take you on a digression in vain,
Yeah, rhyming the last three lines was a PAIN!
Okay, so here she was, Shrutz for her 3rd crack at a GD/PI,
This time for the young turk of the six, IIM-I.

Now, these IIM Indore folk thought it mighty fine,
To schedule the guinea pigs for Chinese torture at nine.
Yes, dear reader, you heard right, that's nine aye-yum
These people have no concept of true-blue fun.

At the K-block of IIM-B, sat the unfortunate twenty,
Assembled on steel chairs that looked a li'l rickety.
Like little lambs to be led to the slaughter block,
In the wide classrooms hewn from ash-grey rock.

Nine 'o clock struck her solemn chimes all too soon.
The twenty had gathered in what they called a waiting room.
But, Alas! To their surprised, nothing had happened,
Not a peep from the panel nor a list, Okay, maybe that was a godsend.

Fifteen minutes later, there entered a man, stage right
Split the twenty into 3 panels, and led two to their plight,
Leaving a very nervous bunch of seven in the room,
And then we were seated to meet glory or crash to doom.

Now, this friendly professor, (Let's call him Numero Uno)
Smiled at the seven of us brightly and said, "You know,"
"This is the IIM-Indore group discussion, held in-door,
Yes, I am afraid the joke has been killed by many a bore!"

"So, without any further ado, let's chart out our agenda,
We're going to have a case study & it's a mind-bender.
Yes! I know that this comes as a surprise to those of you,
Who lived and slept under a rock for the past month or two."

"I hope you have all filled our yellow form from Hell,
Hey! it was lengthy, but at least we meant well!
So, what if you don't know how to use MS Excel
Our disclaimer promises we don't kiss and tell!"

So, at a motion of his hand, the case we all read,
Tried to make sense of whatever the author said.
Too much information it gave and witheld the rest,
Which might be pertinent to the idea to pass the test.

The case, now, what was it really about, after all?
It talked about four friends who had a great idea one fall.
They made a product to help the visually impaired,
Sold it to the public, in the market it very well fared.

Till one day, its success bred the rise of an audacious fake
Helped by the fifth in the team who played for a higher stake.
It could spell disaster to the small firm in its infancy,
They'd turned to us, the future MBAs from Hell, in their naveity.

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn what happens to your company,
(And your little cat too!) Your HR policy couldn't identify the enemy.
But to earn brownie points we have to talk our way,
Through the GD and lend a patient ear to what others say.

"How did the GD go?", a question oft-heard, you see,
I'd say it was quite chaotic, but I'd be in a one-woman minority.
To put things in perspective, Shrutz was rendered speechless,
By the sheer tidal wave of the whole debating mess.

There were those who declared the fake to be as good,
And those who asseverated that it was VERY rude.
To have been back-stabbed by one held so dear,
It might happen again was quite a valid fear.

*Yawn*, SO what else is new in the world of the MBA wannabe?
Are you going to come with some radical new theory?
This case study is going nowhere in a hurry, you know,
Wake me up when something happens and things aren't this slow.

After 14 minutes of yowling and screeching, we were done
Now, it was time for some serious writing fun.
Yeah right! A summary of the discussion most productive,
And mind you, the ideas were all quite regressive.

"Now, my dear wannabes, please clip your forms together,
To keep you on your toes, we're calling you in random order."
Mr.Uno and his sidekick, Mr.Man shooed us out,
We'd been chucked out of K23, without a doubt.

Outside the seven of us began the ritual of bonding over tea.
There were no biscuits this time, that was quite a pity.
To comment on my brothers-in-arms, do I dare?
I would've, but they'd scream and rant "That's UNFAIR!"

Forty five minutes into the process, Out came Number 1,
It was going to be a long day ahead, and 'twas no fun.
Like kingpins, they called in numbers two, three and four.
Then, it was my turn, I was the next one through the door.

"Hello Shruti," said Mr.Uno with a smile most mocking.
"Do not assume that for us the interviewee is king!"
"Why IIM-Indore? Why not IIM-Kozhikode?
We've been told that is the chosen Kampus of God!"

Said I with a nervous laugh, "Sir, it's the brand name,
The tag IIM that matters. The IIMs are all the same."
Now, Mr.Uno, he didn't look convinced one bit,
Regardless, he thought he would overlook it.

"Okay, Shruti, so tell me, Why do you want to do an MBA?
And don't try to bluff me, I know what you're about to say.
So keep in mind, you are an ickle li'l fresher kiddie,
The fact that you have no work-ex really is a pity."

"Well, sir, it's just that I have done some much work
In the area of ahem, organising stuff, I didn't shirk.
So I have take a flight of fancy incomprehensible,
Decided I want to do an MBA, if I am able!"

He shook his head in negation, "That's all right,
But tell me why MBA now? When you might,
Work for two years and then take a course?"
Oh no! He wants work-experience enforced?

"I don't this it absolutely necessary, sir." I said,
With more firmness that I had intended.
He smiled and asked, "Right, tell me then,
What you know of our fair institute, Susan."

"Yessir. IIM-Indore is young, even younger than me,
Established circa 2000, flourishing like a bay tree.
The placements have been good, salaries better,
9 lakhs and 16 lakhs, they're great numbers."

" I see you do Applied Electronics in CET,
What difference does it really make, Shruti?"
"Well sir, we major in instrumentation, you see"
What followed was a comparision of the two syllabi.

"So, you're an engineer," flashing a wicked smile,
"Now I want you to answer this question so simple,
How are digital cameras different from those of old?"
"Sir, you point and shoot, so I am told."

To add to the torture, he then proceeded to ask,
How microwave ovens work and even a quartz watch.
To add insult to injury, he told me he wanted to know,
What the engineer would say as an answer right now.

"Sir, forget what an engineer knows, I just don't,
I am not doing my MTech, and it shows upfront!"
Mr.Duo interrupted (not too smoothly, I may add)
"What are your hobbies, Shruti are they RAD?"

"Well sir, I blog at times, I read, I sing a bit,
I play the violin, like public speaking, and I write!'
"Name me some Indian violinists then, young lady?"
"L Subramaniam and Jayaram from Lalgudi."

"Why do you want to do an MBA now then?"
I looked startled and felt deja vu all over again!
The answer sounded the same old, trite and common
Come on now! I am fresher, this is the best I could summon!

"What is the difference between a violin and a sitar?"
"This is like asking me to compare an apple and an anar,
The only similarity is that they are two fruits"
I sputtered something that sounded quite nuts.

"How does the sound vibrate in a violin by plucking?"
"Sir, we don't pluck, the violin is played by drawing.
When we pluck, that is called pizzicatto,
Latin for plucking, we're sophisticated-O!"

I explained about open strings and different positions!
Till he asked me what were the wave equations!
"Uhm, Lambda, Nu and V are involved, sir
On the name of engineers,I am an unfortunate slur!"

I was done for, with that pun most profound,
After all, I didn't know how the sound,
In a violin obeyed the laws of physics,
That meant I was rather in a big fix.

The standing wave equation, I was told later,
But that didn't occur to me then to tell the sir.
I got up to take my file and bid tender adieu,
When Mr.Uno decided "No not now!"

"Okay, Miss. George tell me what you'd do,
If we gave you a spot offer. Would you rue?"
I stood transfixed on the spot and sputtered,
"Well sir, IIM-I thinks I'm good, I'd be honoured!"

"Would you go for the other interviews?
Handle them like nobody else's business?"
"Sir, please give me time to recover,
Spot offers really aren't in your power!"

"I think you're pulling my leg, but I'd say bye,
To the other IIMs, if you gave me a spot admit to I!"
"You'd even dump A?" asked he with his smile intact,
"Sure, I would sir, I already have! As a matter of fact!"

"You don't have an A call, do you?" he asked with a huff,
"Nossir! But please don't hold it against them, that's just rough."
"Okay, thank you, Shruti, you may leave too.
I can't really say it was a pleasure meeting you."

I walked out of the door, with a smile on my face,
I think, right now, I am out of the race!
Never mind, I shall rise out of the rout
Calcutta and Bangalore look out.

Copyright: Shrutz, 2006.

Copy-write Shrutz :: 9:37 PM :: 13 Sneaky Remarks:

What would you like to do?

-------------------------------------

Thursday, March 02, 2006

I Need Some Luck Now

Aka What Not To Do In Your IIM-L Interview

22nd February dawned fair and bright.
"Shruti. Wake up, it's 7:00."
I crawled deeper into the covers and decided to give the umpteenth wake up call a miss. "Five minutes please."
I am usually a person who can stay awake till 3 am and wake up as fresh as a daisy at 7:30, drink some coffee and dash to college. But, the Bangalore weather does things to me. Must be signs of impending old age, but the cold gets me to my bones, makes my skin dry out ala cold-cream-ads and makes my regularly wavy hair straight. Hmm, maybe there might be advantages to the dryness!
I was finally pulled out of my warm bed (loudly protesting, I might add) by a firm mother who pushed me into brush my teeth. After a seried of unfortunate incidents where I mistook my nose for my teeth, I finally did my ablutions and looked presentable for a GD/PI... technically.
Okay, Bangalore traffic is a bad thing, to paraphrase Martha Stewart. Really BAD. We got out of the house at 7:45 and reached IIM, Bangalore at Bannerghatta Road at aroud 8:35. (The return journey took my relative 2 hours!)
Once at the CCP building, the-guy-I-met-at-the-lobby (yes, a new character in the proceedings!) and I set out in search of the M block, getting lost en route and asking umpteen people.
Once at M block, this is what we saw.
Well, no, not literally, this was the scene some time LATER.
What happened before was:
Guy-I-Met-at-the-Lobby and I met a new candidate fondly to be remembered as Person-who-guessed-everyone's-state. Oracle product, Venkat (The guy in the maroon tie and blue shirt), who 'introducted' himself to me and guy-I-met.., who turned out to be Elvis. No. Not the King. Immediately Venkat realised that he was a Mallu Christian. (Yay, telepathy). I sweetly enquired what I looked like after he saw Panel number VIII (All Mallus) file in. His face worked into a grimace as he guessed.."Bong!"
Yeah. He got that right. I am quite a Chatterjee.
One by one, my group started filing in. I hadn't seen so many Mallus in a B-school, err.. I never had seen so many Mallus in a B-school.
There was Nikhil (with whom I shook hands and blurted out "Speed Nikhil?" and Sanoop who looked flabbergasted that I didn't look as tall as my TIME ad passport size photo. Sanju and Anju, my department mates, Deepak, in the same boat as I (BLICK calls.. damn you A!) & Jinnoy, who would have been a classmate if I hadn't been in CET. (Well, doesn't that make sense now?)
Gayatri and I were spending quite a while giggling over the things we giggle over... GD/PI practice sessions. Yeah, I know. We NEED to get a life! In the middle, I took a picture.

At 10:00 sharp, a lady who vaguely reminded me of Glenn Close's character in 101 Dalmations fairly bristled out.
She first called out Nikhil's name. All of us looked at each other. He'd gone to Panel VII.
"Okay, so he's not there. George Shruti Susan."
Elvis plucked up enough courage to inform her after he had been called third to tell her that Nikhil was upstairs.
"Okay. Go call him... Parumpat."
Huh? What?
"Parumpat"
Sanoop detached himself from the mass and stood behind me in 4th place as everyone filed into the room to see a round table with 9 chairs laid out. We took our seats as Speed rushed in, true to his moniker. The King sedately walked into the third chair.
By now, everyone was settled in and staring at the two lovely attendants on our rollicking journey.
Miss Close looked at Santa's Elf#1 and coughed. "Welcome to the GD/PI. Today we will be flying at an altitude that is going to make you VERY sick. The weather is good, but I know all of you're feeling clammy. Fat good it will do you. Enjoy the ride. It's nauseating."
Tada. She declaimed the...
GD Topic: "You have hardly ever met a mathematician who is good at reasoning"

Wow. Interesting choice of subject. Couldn't you do me a favour and hand me a gun. It might even turn out to be painless.
Given 10 minutes, we were supposed to write on the topic. I wrote something about how abstract concepts and beauty don't mix and how maths was the Lingua Pura,"Cogito Ergo Sum" and all rubbish of that sort.
I was reasonably satisfied with my effort and after 8 minutes, dotted my final i and dashed my final t and sat back in my seat for the two minutes observing the others do likewise.
After which, we were given the permission to start.
Sanoop started off, "Friends, when I see the topic in front of us, I am reminded of models."
HUH? WHAT? COME AGAIN?
"... I am a software engineer" (Good for you!:D) "We have the travelling salesman model."
All of us looked flabbergasted and chalked down the start to some new-fangled model developed by some reasoning mathematician somewhere. People were itching to interrupt and finally someone did... And we were off!
In the middle of the GD, I suddenly realised one C H Dodgson was good for a dramatic example and I talked about how his book Alice in Wonderland was an example of creativity.
Sanoop smoothly agreed "Alice in Wonderland makes me remember a wonderful story."
Everyone pricked their ears attentively.
"Alice's grandma said. "1.2.3. What comes next?" Said Alice, "I don't know".."
That was a bit of a damp squib but Nikhil wasn't to be deterred! "And could you explain that please?"
Sanoop gallantly went forward, "That's easy. Alice needed to learn counting."
Death silence while people grinned.
Jinnoy took over and talked about Mr. Manmohan Singh for some god forsaken reason!
15 minutes later, we were done. The Lady and the Tramp ushered us out.

We bonded over biscuits, tea and Alice in Wonderland. We were spending a large part of our time scaring poor Parumpat with dire warnings of how they'd ask him about the Jabberwocky. Sanoop had turned a pretty shade of puce by then.
For evidence, these are the Mallus@IIMB in one stage of the PI process...

After 10 minutes of general hyperness, where Elvis's nose was recorded for posterity, Scapegoat#1, Nikhil was called in. We waved him in with suitable noises of encouragement. Imagine cheerleaders saying "Rah rah Nikhil is our main man." Yeah. It wasn't that at all.

20 minutes later, he came out looking disgusted and tired. He motioned me in, while the others clustered around him. I went in after a delay, whereupon the Lady had started to the door.
Went near the door, got in and she asked me to "Close the door, Susan". I closed it as softly as I could and walked slowly to the hot seat.

(SM and SK be the panelists. Yeah I found out their names!)
SM: "So, do you like to be called Susan or Shruti?"
Me: "Shruti, ma'am."

I was a little surprised and took my seat.
SM: "Okay, you seem to have distinctions in both 11th and 12th. Why didn't you write IIT?"
Me: "Ma'am, I didn't. My parents needed me."
SM: "Is your college good?"
Me: (DUH) "Yes, ma'am."
SM: "So, tell me something about your college and why you selected it?"
Me: "Ma'am CET was started in 1939 by Mr.Mathewman..." Some trivia followed.
SM: "So, what is its ranking?"
Me: "It's the best college in the state after NIT-Calicut."
SM: "Why did you choose it?"
Me: (Because they wanted me and I was up for a break) I added some gyaan about the college
SM: "What about industry interaction?"
Me: *Talk about the department and talks being organised*
SM: "What made you choose your college?"
Me: *same points*
SM: "How do you define the placements being good? Where are you placed?"
Me: "Infosys and IBM Hardware."
SM: "Have you decided where to go? Are both IT firms?"
Me: "No, ma'am Infy is IT-based, IBM is not." *more random talk*
SM: "Okay, so did you have any more choice in your acads"
Me: "Yes, ma'am I chose to do engineering of what I had."
*li'l silence* BIG MISTAKE #1!
SM: "Go on."
Me: "I got through the CMC Vellore exam. Decided to forego the PI."
SM: (looking surprised at what she clearly considered my stupidity and leaning back in chair) "Why did you write the test?"
Me: "I was inspired in part by Dr. Ida Scudder." (Please pick on that!?)
SM: (resolutely ignoring my opening) "But you wasted time and energy?"

IT WAS MY TIME AND ENERGY FOR GOD'S SAKE!
Me: *tried explaining*
SM: (waving it off) "List the pros and cons of an MBBS degree."
Me: "I believe I am a bit too empathetic." *some more BS*
SM: "Tell me about yourself."
Me: "Ma'am, I study..."
SM: (not looking convinced) "No, no...Why an MBA now? Why not a Tech job?"
Me: *lists out reasons*
SM: (not looking convinced at ALL) "How do you say a B-school is good?"

By now, I was seriously getting tired of the third degree. I was being grilled and not allowed to finish my answers fully and frankly, pasting a smile on for so long was bugging! Regardless, on the smile stayed!

SM: "How do you rate a B-school?"
Me: "On the same criteria as an engineering college.Placements, Infra, faculty, students..."
SM: "How can you rate placements?"

Deja-vu all over again.

Me: "Ask the seniors, and check out after 3 more years how they fared at their first job."
SM: "Where do you see yourself 2 years from now?"
Me: "Having completed my MBA and working in the industry for 3 years, and then at business."
SM: "Any dream companies?"
Me: "No, ma'am. But.." I started on an anecdote.
SM: "So you don't know what you will do?"
Me: "Ma'am I hope to find out during the MBA."
SM: "Oh, so the MBA is a career counselling program?"
Me: (tired of all this!) "No, ma'am!" *some more BS*
SM: "Okay, so what companies come to IIM-L?"

WHAT THE HECK?

Me: (evading the question) "The usual ones."
SM: "Like?..."
Me: "I talked to a senior and she was placed in Dabur."
SM: "Where can you get the placement data from?"

A blank look followed the response.

SM: "The website?"
Me: "Yes, ma'am. But I didn't check the stats."

The hitherto silent Good Cop decided to come into the PI.

SK: "So, what is the intake of IIM-L?"
Me: "250, I think."
SM: "What courses do we offer?"
Me: "Courses on Finances, Operations, HR... Some colleges give it on Systems too"
SM: "Systems?"
Me: "IIM-C, for eg, has the PGDCM for systems."
SM: "Do we have any specialisations?"
Me: (Forgot about PGP-ABM) "No, ma'am. But you can major in any one thing or just take a general management degree."
SM: "There was recently a controversy involving IIM-B. Do you think it's good for IIMs to open shop outside?"
Me: *starts off and get cut in middle*
SM: "Do the IIMs offer a degree?"
Me: "No, ma'am. It's a PG Diploma in management."
SM: "Why?"
Me: *explains about the funda*

SK comes back from his tryst with the outside world.

SK: "So, if you had to prepare a questionnaire about placements, what would you do?"
Me: *divide it into quanti vs subjective.. questions etc etc*
SK: "Would it be subjective or number based?"
Me: "Depends on the size of the sample."
SK: "What does random mean?"
Me: (IIMB's calls) "Well, sir.... "*BS*
SK: "Mathematical expression please?"
Me: "Probability not known."
I beat abour the bush some more...
Me: "Sigh, Sir, I don't know."
SK: "IF I said it was.." *long explanation*
Me: "I believe so, sir."
SK: "You BELIEVE so, You mean it's not?"
Me: "It is, sir."
SK: "What is conditional probability?"
Me: *answer*
SK: "Is is independent or mutually exclusive?"
Me: "Not independent. Mutually exclusive.. hmm no"
SK: "Draw it."

I draw it on a notepad with notations.

SK: "Is this mutually exclusive?"
Me: (Truly tired of all this) "Yes, sir." (Big Mistake#1394)

SM: "Thank you Shruti."

I walked out with as much dignity as I could muster.

SM: "Call Elvis in."
Me: "Yes, ma'am."

Once out, I commenced hitting my head.
That, my friend, is how NOT to conduct your IIML PI!

Copy-write Shrutz :: 5:45 AM :: 18 Sneaky Remarks:

What would you like to do?

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